A Little Humor

“This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”

- Will Rogers

“Conservative, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.”

- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

“Positive, adj.  Mistaken at the top of one’s voice.”

- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

“My esteem in this country has gone up substantially.  It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.”

- Jimmy Carter

“Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.”

- Will Rogers

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

- Abraham Lincoln

“Cynic, n.  A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.”

- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.”

- Ronald Reagan

“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.”

- Abraham Lincoln

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

- Will Rogers

“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

- Will Rogers